Now that you realize how likely it is that the woman in you life has an underlying concern about losing your love-and that you can prevent some of that insecurity by reassuring her consistently and regularly- the trick is to figure our how to give that reassurance in a way that speaks to her heart. The quickest way- though for us guys, perhaps not the most painless- is to come right out and ask.
Here are a few suggestions to get the conversation started. Chances are, all you’ll need to do is ask a question or two and she’ll gladly take it from there.
- Since I honestly never question whether you love me, I didn’t realize that you might sometimes wonder whether I really love you. Just for the record, I do! Since examples will help me understand how you may feel here, what are some things I might say or do that make you worried about us, or about whether I truly love you? For example, what does it feel like for you when we have a conflict and I shut down?
- What are a few of the things that I say and do that most make you feel reassured that I do love you and will always be here for you?
I think that when you say or do this,_________________________, that’s a signal that you could use some reassurance of my love for you; am I right? What other clues am I missing?
When we’re arguing or frustrated with each other, how can I reassure you of my love while still giving myself time to process what’s happening?
When you are upset and withdraw from me, do you ever hope that I’ll come after you?
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