making marriage work

Weekend Away

2008-04-14T05:52:00.001-07:00

Saturday May 31st overnight to Sunday June 1st.

We have someone who wants to donate hotel rooms for each couple to have a get-a-way overnight date night. It will be in downtown Indianapolis and couples will be encouraged to have a date night, take advangtage of a get-a-way where all you have to pay for is your food and entertainment. Watch for more details and a sign up soon, so we can let our generous donor know how many rooms they need to reserve. If you are able we will all get up on Sunday and go to Pastor Jeffery Johnsons church. It will be a great chance to experience a cross-cultural church experience together.

PHOTO Scavenger Hunt

2008-04-14T05:51:00.001-07:00

Hosted by the Randall's Small Group
Saturday, April 26, 2008
3:30 to 5 p.m. - Scavenger Hunt
5 to 6 p.m. - Cookout and Prizes
- Begins and ends as SOCC
- Childcare will be provided
- Additional details to follow

EUCHRE TOURNAMENT

2008-01-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

Euchre Tournament
We will be having another Euchre Tournament Friday February 8th from 6:00-10:00pm in the Fireside Room at church. The Prize for the night besides the bragging rights is an Overnight in a hotel with a Jacuzzi tub in Little Nashville in Brown County...includes dinner. Also includes overnight babysitting if that applies to you :) Mark it on your calendar. We are working out ways for you to have childcare the night of the tournament, as well. Contact Mark & Marilyn for details.

10 Steps to A Deeper Friendship with your Spouse

2008-01-10T09:09:00.000-08:00

article written by Alyson Weasley

Marriage, like any friendship, begins with areas of commonality, but the stresses of normal everyday life – children, work, finances, illness, caring for elderly parents – can tax the union and cause it to grow apart. Traditional marriage counseling is one way to deepen your friendship, but you can also engage in some simple practices.

Here are ten suggestions to cultivate a stronger relationship with your spouse. I’ve also included quotes from average folks that have successfully built this kind of friendship:

1. Recognize that friendship building takes a lot of work – and time. Cut the fat out of your day.

Establish a time each week to spend quality time together – then guard that time with your lives!

Choose to spend time together rather than apart. This may mean sacrificing good things for a season such as small groups, ministry, or bonding time with guys or gals.

“We’ve made some significant concessions for the sake of our friendship. Phil lives close to his work so that can come home for lunch as often as possible. The short commute has improved his mood and energy.” —Amy

2. Explore the interests of your spouse be it baseball, art, musical theater, gardening or hunting. Find out what their passionate about and then join them. Often this takes a bit of sacrifice.

“I intentionally study the things that are having an influence on my wife. If she takes up a new area of interest, or is reading a new book, than I need to do that as well.” —Bill

3. Take time to find common interests and then engage in them.

“We’ve tried many things together over the past 35 years. We enjoy cooking and gardening, and for as long as I can remember we take time away from the kids to backpack during summer. Part of the fun is doing research on hiking trails, camp sites, packs, tents, and cooking stoves … it’s the planning together that has grown our friendship.” —John

4. Use conflict to sharpen and purify friendship.

“I thought I was particularly fortunate because my husband and I rarely argued - we agreed on almost everything. The process of recovering from adultery revealed unhealthy communication on both our parts. Now we have more disagreements, but they come about because we're being honest with one another, which is helping us get to know each other more all the time.” —Andi

5. Nourish and care for one another. Be gentle with one another.

“We lost our first child. We more than comforted one another. We held each other … lifted one another up … and we knew at a deep level that our best friend in the world was going through the same thing.” —Glenn

6. Accountability and mutual respect, including in the areas of sexuality, finances, and relationships, should be a priorities.

“My wife knows everything about my brokenness. I have gone to her first in difficult situations. There’s a small circle of people who know me and know my depravity. My wife is in that circle. Having that transparency has given me strength, clarity, and tremendous freedom.” —George

7. Establish daily habits especially praying together.

“Praying together every morning not only sets the tone for our day, and releases the burdens on our hearts, but it puts us on the same page in so many areas. God meets us in the midst of our friendship every morning.” —Justine

8. Affirm one another every day. Be intentional in communicating the other’s strengths.

“My wife and I make it a habit to regularly communicate those things we admire or value in the other. This practice has strengthened our friendship.” —Al

9. Be transparent with one another.

“One activity I suggest to married couples is, at some point during the day, identify an emotional reality to your spouse. Label that feeling in a self-disclosing way such as ‘I’m angry, fearful, resentful.’ We often limit our conversation to the reporting of events rather than communicating how we really feel.” —Bill

10. Communication. Most experts agree that regular communication builds a friendship that weathers the storms of life.

“For us, communication, in part, is negotiating the rules that will make our relationship work better or flow more smoothly.

For example, just recently, I had the implicit assumption that my bike tools should be placed on the kitchen table. My wife, Annie, challenged this assumption, and conflict arose. By the end of our negotiation, we had made a new rule: bike tools do not ever go on the kitchen table.
It sounds silly, but her demand felt like a threat to how I operate, and therefore a threat to my personhood, my masculinity. In that encounter I had to learn that I was no less Jason, no less a man, no less a person, to concede to my wife's demands that certain spaces are set aside for certain purposes. My personhood goes beyond and deeper than that.” —Jason

(article copied from www.family.org)

Article to Read

2008-01-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

The Three Most Important Choices
Your marriage depends on them.
by Gary and Carrie Oliver

Several years ago a movie called Family Man came out. The story begins with Jack and Kate, a committed couple whose relationship seems destined to end in marriage. But then Jack receives a chance to go to Europe to study for a year. At the airport as they're saying goodbye to each other, Kate gets a funny feeling that if he leaves, it won't be a good choice for their relationship.

"Wait," Kate says. "I have a really bad feeling … . I know we've talked about this a thousand times, and we agreed that you going to London was the right thing to do. But in my heart this feels wrong … . Let's flush the plan. Let's start our lives right now, today. I mean, I have no idea what this life is going to look like, but I know it has the both of us in it and I choose us. The plan doesn't make us great, Jack. What we have together, that's what makes us great."

Jack tells her he loves her and "one year in London is not going to change that. A 100 years couldn't change that." And he boards the plane.

Marriage is about choices. At the altar, many couples say, I choose us, but what they're really saying is, I choose you to help me be happier and to be more fulfilled and to have more fun. I choose you to help me feel better about me.

Ultimately, that's a different choice from the one God calls us to in a Christ-centered marriage. So what are God's choices?

Choosing Forgiveness
After many years studying couples, marriage researcher John Gottman found a determiner for why some couples make it in their marriage and others don't. He discovered those who thought negatively about their spouse were more likely to divorce than those who thought positively, or assumed the best, about their spouse.

Here are a few examples of the negative thoughts that may pop into our minds: She's not meeting my needs. She doesn't care about me. She meant to hurt me. Or He loves his work better than me. He prefers his sports. I'm sure he's having a love affair with that computer.
That's where choosing the way we'll think about our spouse comes in. Which attitude will we take? Thinking positively and assuming the best? Or thinking negatively and assuming the worst? Ultimately it's about allowing forgiveness to become a vital part of our relationship.

In a Christ-centered marriage, forgiving and being forgiven are essential—and often a daily experience, because it's not always about the big stuff. It's the he-didn't-take-out-the-trash-again kind of thing. Or the she-didn't-say-hello-when-I-walked-in-the-door. Small things build over time, and if not taken care of, can lead to the big stuff, such as affairs.

Why do we daily practice forgiveness in our marriage? To be heard by God, and to receive forgiveness for our sins. Here's what Jesus had to say about the importance of forgiveness:
"You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too" (Mark 11:24-25, NLT).

What does forgiveness look like?

Forgiveness isn't simply a one-time deal. Forgiveness is a process, which runs along a cycle. The more I forgive my spouse, the more I experience trust, safety, intimacy, and bonding. And the more I have intimacy, safety, trust, and bonding, the more I'm able to forgive.

Forgiveness requires empathy. A lot of us don't understand what it's like to get into the heart and mind of our spouse and see the world from his or her eyes. That's where so many of us get it wrong. We're so captivated by what's going on in our own hearts, we don't have the ability to be empathetic with where our spouse is in his or her process.

When we commit to opening our minds to see life from our spouse's point of view, we gain
empathy and offer forgiveness much more easily.

Forgiveness requires saying the words. When was the last time you said, "I was wrong. Will you forgive me?"

Several years ago, I (Gary) was speaking on this topic at a Promise Keepers event. I had 50,000 men repeat nine magic words to help repair and restore relationships.

The first three words: I was wrong.

The second three: I am sorry.

The final words: Please forgive me.

Here's what it sounded like when these men repeated after me.

"I was wrong." I was wrong.

"I am sorry." I am fibbez.

"Please forgive me." Please buzzbzzz.

These words are extremely difficult to say. For men, especially, an apology might be, "Well, honey, you know, if two weeks ago I said something to you while you were having that difficult time of the month, and if because you were especially emotional you misinterpreted what I said and felt bad, that really makes me feel sad." Then they walk away thinking, Gosh, it feels so good to apologize. No, that's not it! It's: "I was wrong. And here's specifically where I was wrong. And I'm sorry."

And then comes an invitation, not a demand: Please, forgive me.

Choosing Prayer
Prayer has always been important to us. But about six years ago, God brought a couple into our life who really helped us understand, in entirely new ways, what prayer looks like.

Prayer for me (Gary) was at times a preamble or a conclusion. Although I grew up in a church where we had prayer meetings, nobody prayed. Really, vulnerably prayed. Sure we prayed for our missionaries and Aunt Emmy's gout. All the safe things. But no one mentioned these kinds of prayers: Would you pray for us because we're really struggling in our marriage? Tonight on our way here my wife said she didn't like me. And you know what? I don't really like myself. Or I've been grappling with depression and feeling like a failure.

Six years ago we began to wonder what it would look like to become men and women of prayer. If there's any secret to a strong marriage in terms of love for God, love for each other, and passion, it has to be daily choosing prayer.

Pray often, not long. Prayer doesn't have to be a big production. It's more important to pray often than to pray for hours at a time. We began to pray on the phone, before we said goodbye, or we'd send off a prayer by e-mail. We'd start our day with prayer. Whenever there was a crisis, we wouldn't say, "I'll pray for you," we'd just pray. It became a part of daily living as opposed to nebulous hours of prayer we'd intend to have.

Prayer produces a new perspective. As we commit to praying together, we glimpse a view of each other's hearts that we don't have in any other realm. It gives me (Carrie) a new perspective when I hear Gary worship, praise, and confess sin. We begin to see each other in a different—and stronger—light.

Prayer produces an increased power for our relationship. Gary had several episodes of cancer before we began to take prayer as seriously as we do now. It's amazing the difference in our lives, in the last 14 years and the crises during that time, choosing prayer instead of "going it alone." When prayer is a serious part of your relationship, there's a power in it like no other experience. There is a grace, mercy, and peace that come from Christ when we take the time to go to him. We can't imagine making the choice to do it any other way.

Prayer produces an increased passion for God and each other. As we grew serious about prayer, we grew more passionate about each other.

King David showed this kind of passion for God when he wrote: "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water… . Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself… . You satisfy me more than the richest of foods. I will praise you with songs of joy… . I think how much you have helped me; I sing for joy in the shadow of your protecting wings" (Psalm 63:1, 3, 5, 7, NLT). How would you like to have that kind of passion in your relationship with God and your spouse?

Choosing "Us"
In the movie Family Man, Jack goes to London and completes his internship. And he and Kate never get back together. He becomes a successful entrepreneur, a multi-millionaire, with a penthouse, cars, and women. And she becomes a successful attorney.

But 13 years later, on Christmas Eve, Jack has a vision of a world where he and Kate had gotten married. He finds himself not in his Manhattan penthouse, but in a house in New Jersey. He works for his father-in-law selling tires. And Kate's still a lawyer, but she works at a non-profit firm. They have two kids, a mortgage, and an old car.

It's not exactly the life he wants. But during this vision he learns to love Kate, their kids, and their life.

Toward the end of the movie, Jack is transported back to the present and realizes that the life of his vision with real relationships is much richer than the life with his penthouse, money, and surface relationships.

This time it's Kate who's getting ready to fly to Europe, and Jack runs to the airport to stop her.
"You can't go," he yells. "Don't get on that plane. Please, let's just go have a cup of coffee. That's all I'm asking for. I'm sure there's another flight to Paris tonight."

Surprised, she turns around. "What are you doing here? Do you need closure? Because if you do after all these years, you got it. I'm okay. I was heartbroken. But I got over it. I moved on. And you should move on too. Okay? I'm sorry.

I just can't. I've got to go."

"We have a house in Jersey," he calls out. "We have two kids, Annie and Josh. Annie's not much of a violin player, but she tries real hard. She's a little precocious, but that's only because she says what's on her mind. And when she smiles … And Josh, he has your eyes. He doesn't say much, but we know he's smart. He's always got his eyes open. He's always watching us.
Sometimes you can look at him and you just know he's learning something new. It's like witnessing a miracle.

"The house is a mess, but it's ours. After 122 more payments it's going to be ours. And you're a non-profit lawyer… . But that doesn't seem to bother you. And we're in love. After 13 years of marriage we're still unbelievably in love. You won't even let me touch you until I've said it. I sing to you. Not all the time, but definitely on special occasions. And we've dealt with our share of surprises and made a lot of sacrifices, but we stayed together.

"You see, you're a better person than I am, and it made me a better person to be around you," Jack continues. "Maybe it was all just a dream. Maybe I went to bed one lonely night in December and I imagined it all. But I swear nothing's ever felt more real. And if you get on that plane right now, I'll disappear forever. I know we could both go on with our lives and we'd be fine, but I've seen what we could be like together. And I choose us."

We love that line, "I see what we can be." Sometimes all a marriage needs is that little bit of vision, that little glimpse of what we can be. Maybe we're not there right this moment, but we have hope for what God planned for us when he brought us together.

In the beginning God created relationships. Healthy relationships are the ultimate evidence to the truth of Christ and our faith. But ultimately it's our choice.

Gary J. Oliver, Ph.D., co-author with Carrie of Mad About Us: Moving from Anger to Intimacy with Your Mate (Bethany House), is executive director of The Center for Relationship Enrichment at John Brown University. Carrie Oliver passed away July 2007. www.liferelationships.com

copied from www.christianitytoday.com

Birthdays & Anniversaries

2007-12-17T13:01:00.001-08:00

Please check the calendar link on the right - if we do not have your birthday or anniversary, plaese email them to Emily!

Baby Recognition

2007-12-17T12:54:00.001-08:00

Our next baby recognition is January 20. If you have a new little one or are new to SOCC, please contact Jon Pinney to sign up for this special morning. We will need pictures of your family and new addition no later than January 9.

This is a special time where the church body promises to help you be the kind of Christian parents you long to be for your child. Don't miss this special event.

Love and Respect

2007-12-17T12:52:00.000-08:00

Scott & Cindy Newland will be teaching a marriage class entitled “Love & Respect” on Wednesday nights beginning January 16th! Sign up online or by contacting Donna at mailto:dpruet@socc.org?subject=Love%20&%20Respect%20Class

International Thanksgiving Dinner

2007-11-13T07:38:00.001-08:00

This Sunday, November 18 at 6:00pm, SOCC will be hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for all International Students and Families. It is estimated that 400 people will participate in this traditional American Thanksgiving meal - most of whom are not connected to SOCC or any church for that matter. We have less than 10 hosts / hostesses signed up to help with hosting a table. We need 10 more hosts / hostesses if possible. The main "duties" of a host or hostess would just be to greet and speak with the families at your assigned table and also serve the food to your table as well. What a fun an easy way to fellowship and show God's love through a Thanksgiving meal! f you are interested, please e-mail Lyne Brown at lbrown@socc.org or Erika Sanchez at erikasanchez02@yahoo.com

Sex by the Fire Talk this Friday!

2007-10-29T07:55:00.001-07:00

This Friday, November 2nd, in the Fireside Room:

Soup/Game night....with Mark and Marilyn discussing "Sex By The Fire". It will be an evening of tasteful discussion about sex with time for women with Marilyn and men with Mark for some discussion...then the large group time where we will discuss any questions that are submitted throughout the evening. 6:30-10:30pm... the Talk will begin at 7:30pm. PLEASE RSVP to kinkeadmm@sbcglobal.net so we know how much soup to bring! Cya Friday Night! -m&m

Discussion Questions

2007-10-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Questions for Our Women…
Questions for our women:

Do you ever wonder if my work/school is more important to me than you are?

What are some things I already do that let you know you’re a priority in my life?

What other little things could I do to help you feel loved and secure?

What are your non-negotiable things when it comes to our financial or material needs?

What are your non-negotiable things in our relationship?

Do you think we need to make any changes in our family priorities-and resulting changes in our lifestyle-to help strengthen our relationship and our family? How can we make that happen?

Questions for Our Men…
Questions for our men:

Give me an example of when you felt that I really understood the burden you feel to provide.

Can you give me an example of when you felt I didn’t?

How did that make you feel?

Would it be easier for you if we reduced our lifestyle?

How can I take some of the pressure off you?

Bringing It Home: Discussing it With Your Man (More info for Women)

2007-10-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

What in my actions or words most makes you feel respected? Disrespected?

When you did this______________________, it made me feel like you were doing/saying this:____________________. But now I realize maybe you were doing/saying this:_____________________; is that correct?

Since examples help me “see” this better…
· Can you give me an example of a time that I really made you feel trusted?

· Can you give me an example of a time when you felt that I didn’t trust or respect you?

· Confidentially, which other couples that we know have respectful behavior patterns and which do not?

· How do you feel our parents relate to each other in this area of respect? How can our marriage improve upon their patterns?

On the Home Front: Living it With Her (Further info for Men)

2007-10-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

Now that you realize how likely it is that the woman in you life has an underlying concern about losing your love-and that you can prevent some of that insecurity by reassuring her consistently and regularly- the trick is to figure our how to give that reassurance in a way that speaks to her heart. The quickest way- though for us guys, perhaps not the most painless- is to come right out and ask.

Here are a few suggestions to get the conversation started. Chances are, all you’ll need to do is ask a question or two and she’ll gladly take it from there.

Since I honestly never question whether you love me, I didn’t realize that you might sometimes wonder whether I really love you. Just for the record, I do! Since examples will help me understand how you may feel here, what are some things I might say or do that make you worried about us, or about whether I truly love you? For example, what does it feel like for you when we have a conflict and I shut down?
What are a few of the things that I say and do that most make you feel reassured that I do love you and will always be here for you?

I think that when you say or do this,_________________________, that’s a signal that you could use some reassurance of my love for you; am I right? What other clues am I missing?

When we’re arguing or frustrated with each other, how can I reassure you of my love while still giving myself time to process what’s happening?

When you are upset and withdraw from me, do you ever hope that I’ll come after you?

UpComing Events

2007-10-09T12:48:00.002-07:00

Friday November 2nd – Sex by the Fire Talk
6:00pm-10:30pm at the church
Join us for some food we provide, then for an evening of open, frank, tasteful discussion on Sex and your marriage. This will be an evening where we meet as women and men separately and then rejoin to answer questions for couples that are submitted anonymously to Mark and Marilyn throughout the evening. We will end the evening with card and board games.

Sunday December 2nd
Right after third service (approximately 12:15pm)
COLTS FOOTBALL ON THE BIG SCREEN….plus PIZZA. You bring a two liter and a dessert and we will provide the PIZZA and the COLTS on the BIG SCREEN IN FELLOWSHIP HALL! Game starts at 1:00 and ends at 4:00.

Friday December 14th
6:00pm-10:30pm
Game Night / Cookie exchange

GAME NIGHT THIS FRIDAY!

2007-10-09T12:48:00.001-07:00

This Friday October 12th from 6-10:30 in the Fireside room here at church. GAME NIGHT! Bring something to drink and snack on, and a game to play. We will provide cards, and a hot snack for us to munch on! No child care will be provided for this event.

Activities Team

2007-10-09T12:47:00.001-07:00

Thursday October 11th Activities Team will be meeting at Josh Randall’s house to plan the Winter and Spring activities for the Young Married Class. Call Josh at 340-1942 for directions to Josh and Lynsey’s home. Meeting starts at 7:00. If you enjoy planning and coming up with things for us to do as a class, come join Josh and his team and help them plan this winter and spring. Their address is : 4013 South Crane Court.

Young Married Missionaries

2007-09-27T10:21:00.002-07:00

Congratulations to Scott & Sophie Wallace who have been invited to serve as mission team coordinators at Agua Viva Children’s Home beginning in May’08. They will live at Agua Viva and host mission teams during the summer months, May-Aug. This is a very important service to the groups that stay at AV and the AV staff. Please congratulate Scott & Sophie when you see them!

Pitch In THIS SUNDAY!

2007-09-27T10:21:00.001-07:00

We will be having a “Pitch-In” on Sunday September 30th at Noon in the Fellowship Hall at Sherwood Oaks. It will be over by 2:00pm. Bring enough food for you and a few other people, we set it out and all enjoy a good meal together. We will provide the meat (fried chicken). Drinks, and table settings…you bring your favorite desert, salad, bread, whatever…and we will all eat like kings. We plan to talk about small groups and hopefully get at least 2 new small groups up and running from this meeting. If you are not in a small group, currently in one and would like to try another, just looking for a free meal…come join us Sunday September 30th at noon. If you could RSVP Mark and Marilyn at kinkeadmm@sbcglobal.net so they can have a good head count for the chicken that would be great. If you are bringing something in that needs to be heated, or kept cool we will have both of those available at the church, if you let us know. If you are interested in leading a small group, let us know. Initially it would involve getting your group together so you could decide what night to meet, how often to meet, and where to meet. Come check it out…eat some chicken…have some fun!C-Ya!Mark and Marilyn

Pitch In On September 30th!

2007-09-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

Time to Clean out the Pantry?

2007-08-31T08:07:00.001-07:00

This was on the Herald Times Online this morning (thanks, Carly!)

If you can give, please do so!

After Monroe County United Ministries had a disappointing food drive last weekend, the Salvation Army is asking the community to donate canned, packaged or unopened food products for its food pantry.

Both nonprofit agencies are among the many that receive food from the Hoosier Hills Food Bank, but not nearly enough to meet the needs of their clients. That is why they must have their own food drives.

Monica Clemons, spokeswoman for the Salvation Army, said this year the agency has provided food to more than 3,000 people, more than twice the number it helped three years ago.
“We’ve been buying food at Aldi’s for the last few weeks because our food pantry was pretty much empty,” Clemons said. “We need everything, but mostly peanut butter; and canned tuna, fruits, vegetables and soups.”

Donations can be brought to the Salvation Army office at 111 N. Rogers St. in Bloomington from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, or dropped off at the adjacent store between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday.

Last weekend, the Monroe County United Ministries collected 15,200 pounds of food for its food pantry, but the amount fell short of last year’s collections.

“We still need food, primarily canned meats and fruits,” said Rebecca Stanze, MCUM’s development coordinator. “People can help by dropping off those items (at 827 W. 14th Court) Monday through Friday.”

Stanze said from 2003 to 2006, the number of food requests from MCUM’s food pantry doubled to 1,229, while the amount of food donations increased by only 45 percent.

copyright 2007: Herald Times Online, Bloomington, Indiana

Involved - Life on Loan

2007-08-27T05:22:00.000-07:00

Intro:
What does it take for God to do something amazing? All the disciples could muster was five loaves and two fish to feed a hungry crowd of over five thousand. But this was all that Jesus needed. When you do what you can do and trust God to do what only He can do, the results will be astounding. So how will you get involved?

Questions:

Read Matthew 14:13-21. What did the disciples learn from this miracle?
When have you seen God do amazing things when you or someone else surrendered your time and ability to Him?
How has your life, or the life of someone you know, been impacted by those who volunteer to serve on Sunday mornings?
What could God do if each one of us invested our time and ability into the church?
Where have you volunteered in the church in the past? What was your experience?
Where in the church do you plan to invest your time this year?

Think about it: So, what are you waiting on? Will you do what the twelve did? Will you do what countless volunteers do each Sunday? Will you take your ordinary stuff – time and ability- and make them available to your Heavenly Father? What is keeping you from being involved on Sundays?

What will you do?
Marilyn is looking for small groups to serve together in the Toddler Spot. She needs 7-8 people at the 11:00 service . This group is the walkers. 1-2 people would do the front desk check-in , then 3 helpers in each of the 2 rooms doing child-care. If you are not in a small group your help is wanted and needed also. She is wanting you to commit for an entire month. You can email her at mkinkead@socc.org or call her at 334-0206 ext 203 during the week, and 333-0421 at home in the evenings.

Sunday Nights for Everyone!

2007-08-21T09:03:00.001-07:00

If you are not a part of the Sunday morning class or have to miss for any reason, you can still take part in the Life on Loan series . Join Mark and Marilyn in the Fireside Room on Sunday evenings for the discussion questions. We will be leading small group discussions on the Life on Loan series for six weeks for all 20-30year olds, single or married. This is a great chance to be a part of the church-wide study. Come hear what others your age think about each weeks sermon and its application to you. All the fun begins Sunday, September 2 at 6:00pm in the Fireside Room.

Service Opportunity

2007-08-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

Stadium Seat Installation "The Final Chapter!"

According to the contact person at IU, the shipment of supplies to finish the job will be there on Thursday. We will gather at the Memorial Stadium at 5:00pm this Thursday evening. We will work at least from 5:00pm until 9:00pm. If you cannot be there until 6:00pm that is ok, too. We will finish the job that night. Please come join us that night to finish this project. I really appreciate the hard work that been given already. Let's finish it off that night. See you at 5:00pm this Thursday evening at Memorial Stadium. Thank You, Kevin King

If you can help, contact Kevin at kevinking722@hotmail.com

Baptism...

2007-08-19T16:35:00.000-07:00

We had some great discussion on Baptism and covered a lot of ground. I did forget to mention that if you would like to be baptized or talk about the issue more, please email me directly at kinkeadmm@sbcglobal.net I look forward to helping you on your faith journey and discussion about what God has to say to us on this, and any other topic.

A additional thought...as we ended class we were discussing if baptism was connected to salvation. Remember the process of converting to Judaism both concluded and began the process of being Jewish...as the convert washed (baptized) himself of his old ways he finished the process, and began the life commitment of being Jewish. In our Christian conversion we confess with our mouth, and then are obedient to what Jesus asked us to do and we are (baptized) washed of our old life and identified with Jesus death, burial, and resurrection...and then we begin our life of commitment of being Christian. (Christ-like)

The two are meant to be inter-connected...like marriage, two of you agree to get married and make the commitment to each other. You then have the public ceremony that lets everyone know of your desire for the rest of your lives. In baptism you are forgiven by the confession of your mouth, and then publicly begin your life as a Christian. The thief who hung on the cross and confessed to Jesus, was told by Jesus, "this day you will be with me in paradise." There was no chance to baptize him, and yet Jesus said he would be with him. He had no life to live beyond that moment.

Now lets finish the lesson and I would love your feedback... What are the fears that the church tries to address in it's own versions of what is necessary, or when, or how someone is baptized.

1) Infants: People understood that we are all born with a sinful nature, and yet are fearful that their infant will die before reaching an age that they can accept Jesus forgiveness for their sins, thus we get a (church) understanding that we can baptize a child and in some way hold on to their salvation until they accept it for themselves. ( I come from a United Methodist background and can address that churches ideas if you come from that background) . We know that salvation is individual and something that each person has to decide for themselves. So we must acknowledge that we are under the authority of Scripture, and not under the authority of a church doctrine. Thus, this church idea is not based in Scripture, and meant to give parents a comfortable answer, at the cost of also giving a false sense of salvation.

2) Time between accepting Jesus and being baptized: Some of us have had people in our lives who were baptized as infants, as they got older decided to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior,and then wanted to accept the baptism that was done on their behalf when they were first born. Or maybe made a decision at a young age and never were baptized for one reason or another. Now when they ask " Am I saved if I have asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins, and I have accepted Him as my Lord and Savior?" We find ourselves in uncomfortable land....because there is so much in Scripture that indicates the two, while separate, are connected....part of a process if you must. An illustration: remember the wedding couple...if you were to ask someone to marry you, and commit to them, and then come to them and say" I just don't think it is necessary to have the public wedding, or to let anyone else know we are married." What does that say about the understanding of the life long commitment of marriage? It might be reasonable to question if that person really meant it when they said they wanted to be married.

Again it is fearful as a parent or friend to hear someone say they do not want to be baptized, yet they consider themselves to be a Christian. Everything in the Scripture indicates it is the end of what Jesus did for you (saved you) and the beginning of what you will do for Him (live your life for him).

Remember as you study Scripture you must see who it was written to, when it was written, and what was the purpose of the writing.

Interesting ideas from today's lesson:

Jesus did not baptize anyone
Jesus was baptized
Jesus took two common Jewish ideas, Communion from the Passover feast, and Baptism from the conversion ceremony to Judaism and gave them New Testament applications.
We are connected to all other Christians throughout all time in these two actions we share in. All of us who have been believers have shared in Communion, and Baptism.
This is not an problem for anyone who is a believer and has been baptized
The unchurched see us fight about this topic and it is repulsive to them.

Jesus saves us...and asks us to commit to Him publicly through baptism, our only part in salvation is asking for it...our part in living out the Christian life is enormous.
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. - Matthew 28:19

I hope this has been challenging and helpful as you seek answers. God is not afraid of our questions. I reserve the right to change my opinion as the Holy Spirit instructs me and I grow. :) Mark

Financial Peace

2007-07-31T13:01:00.002-07:00

Financial Peace University will be offered on Wednesday nights from 6:00-8:00pm beginning September 5th. This 13-week class seeks to help individuals and families get out of debt, budget their money better, save for retirement and college, and be better stewards of their financial resources. You can sign up at the SOCC Bookstore or online at www.socc.org (online sign-ups begin August 6). Class materials cost $89.95 per couple or individual if purchased in the bookstore before August 19. This will also ensure that the materials are available for the first class. Materials purchased after August 29th will be $99.95.

Your Help Needed

2007-07-31T13:01:00.001-07:00

Calling all college students, young adults, & young marrieds... We need 25 volunteers to offer about 30-45 minutes of your time for a photoshoot Friday evening, August 3rd. Meet at door #20 at 7:00 pm and bring a coffee mug. If you want to help, contact David at dclark@socc.org or 812.334.0206 to sign up as soon as possible.

Miller Baby Info

2007-07-31T13:00:00.001-07:00

Matt & Melissa Miller’s baby is here! Luke Matthew Miller was born at 10:32am on July 26 weighing 8 lbs. 6 oz. - 21.5 inches long. Erika Sanchez is putting together a food schedule for the new family. If you can help out, please contact Erika! From Erika: I am putting together a meal schedule for the Millers starting this Friday. If anyone would like to provide a meal for the Miller's, please e-mail me at erikasanchez02@yahoo.com or call me at 812-334-9785.

The dates that will be open are:
Friday, August 3
Sunday, August 5
Tuesday, August 7
Thursday, August 9
Saturday, August 11
Monday, August 13
Wednesday, August 15
and Friday, August 17

It Came from Within

2007-06-12T11:34:00.001-07:00

Our next series for the summer is “It Came from Within” by Andy Stanley. Here’s what to expect:

“Where Did THAT Come From? You know that dreaded, sinking, I-can't-believe-I-said-that-out-loud feeling? It's a disconnect between your attitude and your actions. Or is it? "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks," states Matthew 12:33. Scary, but true: The words you "accidentally" speak and the actions you later regret are actually in keeping with what's hiding in your heart. Andy Stanley's life-changing message examines four conditions at the root of sour attitudes, hurting relationships, and regretful actions: guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. This book will help you disclose the true state of your heart and turn what's terrifying into what's terrific.”

If you have Mark’s DVD of this series, please email him!

Nursery Help Needed this Summer

2007-06-12T11:32:00.002-07:00

SOCC is in need of help in the Baby/Crawler nursery this summer, especially during the 11:00am service. If you can serve at any point (even one Sunday a month or one Sunday the whole summer) please call or email Kelly Pitner at 824-5660 or kbpitner@yahoo.com.

New Baby

2007-06-12T11:32:00.001-07:00

John & Melissa Bower welcomed Helen Grace to the world on June 8! Helen was 6 lbs. 13 oz - 20 inches long. Mom and baby are both doing well and should be out of the hospital today. Erika Sanchez is organizing some meals for the next couple weeks. Meals can either be home cooked, or delivery (like pizza) or prepared meals (like chicken from Kroger) or whatever. Anything would be appreciated by them!
Here are the dates that are available:
· Tues 6/12
· Thurs 6/14
· Sat 6/16
· Mon 6/18
· Fri 6/22

E-mail or call Erika if you can help out at erikasanchez02@yahoo.com or call 334-9785.

Tough Questions

2007-06-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

Coming this Summer! We will be discussing some tough questions about Jesus, faith, and Christianity the second half of the summer. Come to class for the beginning of the discussion, then join us later in the week at Mark & Marilyn’s house for more in-depth discussions and time to grow together. Do you have a question that you’d like to know more about? Post your question in the comment anonymously in the comment section under this post!

Baby Shower for Melissa Miller!

2007-05-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

in case you can't read it, RSVP to Keri Sponseller at ksponseller@gmail.com if you would like to attend!

Cookout on Monday, May 28

2007-05-23T06:03:00.002-07:00

We will be having a young married ministry cookout at mark & marilyn's house on Monday, May 28.

Food will be served around 5; come over whenever. to rsvp or get directions email them at kinkeadmm@sbcglobal.net!

Hope to see you there!

Remember - No Class Sunday

2007-05-23T06:03:00.001-07:00

because several people will be out of town, we will NOT have class on Sunday, May 27!

New Study – Life, Interrupted Begins May 13

2007-05-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

Our first summer study will be "Life, Interrupted" by Louie Giglio.

"A pink slip you didn't see coming. A devastating test result. An untimely death. Sooner or later, interruptions come crashing in on us all, bringing with them a flood of questions about life and truth. Why did this happen? Where is God? How am I ever going to make it through these days?

Yet, in the midst of the confusion, God calls us to ask a different set of questions and embrace a new way of thinking, a path that leads us to understand His purposes in a seemingly unstable world. Moving past simplistic answers, this series dives deep into the heart of our darkest nights with a bright ray of hope. Re-examining some of Scripture's most central characters, we see the way God intended us to view life in the midst of our greatest disappointments. Break free from the myth of the routine life. Rest in the truth of an uninterruptible God."
(Description courtesy of: www.268store.com)

We will begin this study on May 13 at 9:30am in the Fireside Room.

New Class Time Begins Sunday!

2007-05-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

New Class Time & Brunch THIS SUNDAY 9:30am in the Fireside Room!

We will celebrate our new class time with a brunch. Bring enough for yourself and a few others to enjoy! We will need to be out of our new location…THE FIRESIDE ROOM by 10:20, so come join us at 9:30 and help us start off the new room and summer together.~Mark and Marilyn

Help This Sunday!

2007-04-27T06:20:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone,

We will have invitations ready to be handed out on Sunday morning inviting new couples to our brunch next Sunday, May 6 to kick off our summer schedule.

Since this is not an official "church handing out in front of the doors" type of scenario - I think the easiest thing would be for any couples interested to meet me back in the fellowship hall at 9:15 (and again then at 10:45 for the 11:00 service) and I will give you a few invitations. These are meant to hand to people that you may be sitting around during the service, or people you may see walking around in the foyer area. It should be a less intimidating way of introducing yourself and inviting them to come to our class. :)

I don't think we'll hand out a ton of invitations - nor technically do we have the permission to do so. But, if a few couples would be willing to carry some invitations around with them in case they see some new couples, that would be great!

It would be great if you would ask some of your small group couples to see if they would also be willing to meet at 9:15 to pick up a few invitations and take them around with them on Sunday. The more, the better! :)

If you have any questions on this, or any other suggestions, please let me know.
Have a great Friday!

-Erika Sanchez (erikasanchez02@hotmail.com)

Prayer Request Link

2007-04-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

I have added a link to a prayer request site on the right. Please check it out and be in prayer for those people!

CareFest is SATURDAY!

2007-04-18T08:18:00.001-07:00

it's not too late to join us for CareFest07 at Templeton Elementary School. If you would like to help out, please contact Pete at fetherp@yahoo.com asap!

Guest Speaker April 29

2007-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

Alan Phillips, SOCC Pastoral Care minister, will be leading our discussion on April 29th. Alan is also in charge of the pre-marital classes at SOCC, so many of you are probably already familiar with him! Join us!

11:00am
Fellowship Hall

calendar updated

2007-04-12T13:23:00.000-07:00

The Young Married calendar link on the right has been updated through June (as of right now). Please let emily know (ebedwell@socc.org) if your information is wrong or missing.

This Sunday 4-15-07

2007-04-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

We will conclude our series on Time Management this weekend! Please plan on joining us, even if you haven't been able to make it to any of the series yet.

Your Time Starved Marriage

2007-04-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

How to stay connected at the speed of life… s at 11am in Fellowship Hall

Are you feeling overscheduled and under connected?
Would you like to know your unique “time style”- as well as your spouse’s?
Are you looking for the secret to recouping the rest and recreation you crave?
Do you want to find a surefire way to create more meaningful time together each day?

The moments you miss together are irreplaceable, gone forever. Now, just in time, we will look at a book by marriage counselors Les and Leslie Parrott. We will show you how to reclaim the time you’ve been missing and how to maximize the moments you have together. This is not a study about being more productive, but a study about being more connected. We will have plenty of discussion in class, as well as assignments during the week, including an internet based survey which helps you discover your unique time style. This is a serious thief in marriages…time starved marriages are not strong marriages.

Camping Trip Postponed!

2007-04-07T09:54:00.001-07:00

About the Paynetown Camping Trip...I have recently been informed that due to lack of interest, the April 20-22 Class-wide Camping Trip has been canceled. The Activities Committee may reschedule this trip for a later date when there is more interest.

Married Conferences

2007-04-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hey Married People! Love the idea of a blog!

Thought I'd let you know about two upcoming marriage conferences...Family Life offers "A Weekend to Remember" in Indy on April 27-29. Scott and I went to this one about 8 years ago and it was fabulous. You can read about it here. This one is pricey but excellent.

"Love and Respect" is a great book--maybe my favorite on marriage-- by Emerson Eggerichs. They also have a conference in St. Louis April 20-21. This conference is cheaper.

Hope everyone is doing well!
Cindy Newland

Easter Service Times

2007-04-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

Remember there is no class this Sunday. Have a great Easter and enjoy one of the services on Saturday night or Sunday morning that makes room for newcomers to enjoy worship at 11:00.

Easter Service Times
Easter is this weekend. We will have 5 services at SOCC.
Saturday, April 7
5:00pm – Fam Jam (designed for parents and children to attend together)
6:30pm – Contemporary service
Sunday, April 8
8:00am – Blended service
9:30am – Blended service
11:00am – Contemporary service

We need to move about 1,000 people from our 9:30 and 11:00am service times to Saturday night or 8:00 Sunday morning to help accommodate guests on Easter morning. Please consider attending one of these alternate services if possible!

Cookout Rescheduled

2007-04-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

Due to a scheduling conflict, the cookout scheulded for April 29th will need to be postponed. We'll let you know about the naw day, date, and time as soon as possible.

CareFest Project!

2007-03-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

(From Pete)
The CareFest project that I am leading is a garden project at Templeton Elementary School. It is open to all ages, and is a family friendly site. Templeton Elementary School has a garden that provides food for the Free Family Market, a free food pantry that distributes food each week to the needy. We would like help tending the garden as well as help with covering the off site green house. Supplies and tools needed are gardening tools.

We will meet at the church at 8:00am. We should be on-site by 9:00, and should be done around noon.

There maybe a limited number of spaces on this site, so check out the sign-up sheets in the foyer. If you can’t participate in this project, there are a lot of other projects of different types. Also, if you are going to be out that weekend, there is an alternate date project over the weekend of Memorial Day.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me

Easter Service Project

2007-03-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

Looking for a way to serve this Easter?

This year we are giving SOCC Invite boxes out to our guests on Easter. We will need to put together approximately 500 boxes.

We will meet on Tuesday night at 530pm to assemble. We definitely need your help for this task! I’ll provide pizza or some type of food for the evening… probably pizza. We will either meet in Room R362 (upstairs) or out in the welcome center.

Please email Eric Hafner at ehafner@socc.org and let him know if you can help! The more people we have, the less time it will take! Thanks in advance for your servic

New Class Time Begins May 6

2007-03-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

The Young Married class will meet at a new time – 9:30am - Beginning May 6! This will allow us to worship at the 11:00 service and look for new couples to invite to lunch, class, etc. We will finalize the room soon! On May 6th we will have a brunch to celebrate our new class time and welcome new couples to the class.

Camping Trip to Paynetown

2007-03-26T08:23:00.001-07:00

April 20-22
Join us for a weekend in the great outdoors. The Young Married class will be camping at Paynetown (20 minutes away) April 20-22! We are still working out pricing, but will let you know as soon as possible. If you do not have camping gear, please let Josh Randall or Rick Hullinger know and they will help you out. This is an adults-only weekend without childcare, but no children, please! If you are interested in joining the fun, contact Josh Randall at josh.randall@yahoo.com by March 28th. If you would like to come out for the day on Saturday and not camp, that is fine, too.

Purpose of Married Life Ministries

2007-01-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

If having a healthy marriage seems impossible, it’s because it is. However, we have a loving, heavenly Father who wants to make it possible. We believe the number one essential of a healthy marriage is allowing God to control our lives. That is why we believe the number one essential for a healthy marriage is…Trust God

It is essential for a healthy marriage that you make your time together a priority. For marriages to thrive, schedules must reflect the huge priority of home. In other words, cheat at work if you must, but do not cheat at home. In fact, we encourage you to…Hurry Home

There may be nothing worse than feeling misunderstood. And perhaps there is nothing better than feeling understood, being known. Good communication is paramount in a good marriage. We believe it is essential for you and your spouse to…Cultivate Communication

The power of romance, sex, and intimacy can be a married couple’s biggest ally or it’s greatest enemy. It’s quite natural to want your spouse to remember you romantic needs and desires. However, Married Life Ministries believes the goal should be to put your spouse’s needs and desires first. That’s the best way to…Nurture Romance

By God’s design, men and women are very different. Our differences can be used to complement and serve each other, or they can drive us apart. We often try to change our spouses, in the name of love. Married Life Ministries believes a better option is to love our spouses, even if they never change. It’s crucial for couples to seek to understand and accept each other’s differences. We want you to….Celebrate Differences

More and more people are putting divorce on the table as an option. One essential thing every healthy marriage needs is security. People need to know that together as a couple, they can work out anything. We want couples to…Finish Together